Peace
by Orin Forever Crimson
Summary: *Oneshot* Raven contemplates her actions during 'The End' and how they could be seen as traitorious. The team notices her mood. Sometimes your family knows you better than you know yourself.  Rated Teen for flashback violence.


I am baaaack! With another Teen Titans fic. =3

Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans, but I can do a really good impression of both Starfire and Raven! Does that count for anything?

A/N: Raven's physical abilities are never clearly outlined in the show, so I consider them fair game for speculation. If I have over-looked a fact about her senses please let me know and I will edit my story accordingly. Thank you. ~Orin

**Special Thanks to Lizzylizzer for pointing out some of my mistakes! I hope that you will find my corrections to be adequate.**

I am always open to constructive criticism, so please never hesitate to inform me if you find something wrong!

"Speech" 'Thoughts' _Memories_ (Sounds)

* * *

Raven glanced around the common room of the tower from her meditative position near the front window.

Her teammates were engaged in various activities, not bothering her for once.

Cyborg and Beast Boy were playing video games, Robin typing away on the computer with an expression of absolute concentration adorning his face, and Starfire was in the kitchen area with Silkie making one of her Tamaranean dishes.

Within the confines of her hood she allowed herself a small smile.

This was what it was like to have a family.

The monks who had raised her had not been anything like this. They had not given her this feeling of peace, even through all the meditation techniques they taught her she had never been able to attain anything that amounted to the knowledge of the safety and wellness of her friends.

It would have taken one of her team, her family, to notice the sadness that touched her eyes then.

Terra had betrayed Raven's family, but she had hurt Beast Boy the most, even more so than Robin who was still harboring feeling or regret and guilt over not noticing that something was wrong, not noticing the danger to his family, until it was too late.

Not one of the team could escape the feelings of guilt and sadness that came of her betrayal. Raven herself had started to accept the girl when she turned them over on a silver platter to Slade, and now what was done was done.

Terra was gone.

Raven closed her eyes and was for a moment transported back in time to that fateful day in the cavern when they confronted Terra.

"_It'll be the last thing you ever do!"_

Raven mentally jerked herself back to the present. Taking a small calming breath she made herself relax back into the knowledge of her family surrounding her all safe and sound.

They may have been wounded then, but all wounds heal with time.

Raven allowed her gaze to fall on Beast Boy.

'Some wounds take longer to heal than others.'

Raven settled back into herself with an inaudible sigh. Thinking of such things made her have to meditate longer than usual, but if she refused to attend to it she tended to have nightmares that led to Cyborg having to repair various parts of the tower.

Before Raven allowed herself to succumb to the dark pull of her mind, she hesitated, wondering what had made her think of the lost Titan after so long.

It had been a while since she had allowed her thoughts to wander into such a dangerous field of thought. Maybe it had been the storm that was blowing in off the sea. The thick air was filled with scents from afar just as Terra had been. Her scent had never had time to become a part of the tower.

Raven smirked mentally. Nobody else in the tower probably realized how acute her sense of smell was. It wasn't like she had Beast Boy's nose, but she could easily pick up traces of scent that did not belong in her home. Terra's never had.

The room that had been Terra's was now closed. The scent long carried away by the wind from the window. No one but Raven knew how that window kept coming open. She had strategically opened that window, night after night, until the smell was only of the sea and Beast Boy, who had spent some time in there, even after her scent was gone.

It must have been the scent of afar that made Raven think of such unsavory thoughts.

The fight with Cinderblock earlier that day had probably not helped either. She always remembered the sight of the three, Cinderblock, Plasmus, and Overload, combined and always felt a minor rush of revulsion.

With another, slightly annoyed, inaudible sigh Raven allowed her mind to mull over what it was trying to ponder. She promised herself extra meditation and let her mind wander back into the past that she would rather forget.

'_It'll be the last thing you ever do!' Raven had promised the fallen Titan as she held a sharpened stone over Beast Boy's prone form. In that moment it had not been her father's demonic heritage that had made her promise death to someone she had trusted. No, it had been all Raven. Her heart clenched at the sight of Beast Boy about to be crushed and all she could think of was his safety, even if that meant becoming the demoness she had promised herself to never become._

_The relief that flooded her when Terra re-aimed her projectile at Slade was beyond hers alone. It was all of her family. Their emotion rushing into her, filling her to the brim, so that she thought she might burst and just as quickly the emotion was back under control. She was still in the middle of a battle. Her family was not safe yet._

Raven took a calming breath into the present. Out of all the things she had done that could be said would bring her closer to her father's ways, this murderous intent had to have been the most surprising in the fact it took her farther from her father's grasp than ever before. It brought her closer to her friends, her family.

'Funny how I didn't realize how much I love them until I almost lost one of them,' Raven mused to herself.

Then and there she made a vow to herself. No one, not even the dark Titan herself, would ever harm this family. This gathering of wandering souls brought together by some mix of fate and coincidence.

'No,' Raven thought to herself as she cast another glance over her little family, 'Nothing can touch them. They are too precious to be cast into the shadows of this world. Not even my Father's evil was able to defeat them.'

Raven allowed herself a moment of self-loathing.

She had betrayed them, the ones she had tried so hard to protect, when she had become the key, but now that was over.

Miraculously, everyone forgave her as soon as she was back to herself.

They had never thought that she had betrayed them.

They had never compared her to Terra, but she did.

Every time she thought of the horrors that Terra had brought down on her family she couldn't help but realize that she had done something so close to that that she would always carry guilt in her heart.

Raven mentally shook herself out of that train of thought.

She needed to meditate.

Centering herself once more, Raven took a calming breath and whispered her mantra.

It was only then that Raven realized the silence in the room.

Beast Boy and Cyborg weren't yelling at each other over their game.

There was no typing coming from the direction of Robin's computer.

No pots and pans clinking against spoons came from the kitchen.

Slowly, Raven opened her eyes to see why everything had stopped.

Beast Boy and Cyborg had paused their game and were looking over at her with twin looks of curiosity.

Robin, his hands still raised above the keys of his computer's keyboard, stared at her, his head slightly tilted to the side as if trying to figure out a difficult puzzle that had remained unsolved for too long.

Starfire was the only one not looking at her, as she was watching Silkie eat her momentarily abandoned food, though she was still and had her attention clearly focused on whatever was happening in the rest of the commons area.

"What's wrong Raven?" Beast Boy asked, his voice uncharacteristically quiet. "You keep having to re-center yourself, and it's not because of the things we are doing."

"Are you alright?" Robin added with concern evident in his voice.

Raven allowed a small smile to grace her face at their concern.

"Yes," Raven answered in her matter-of-fact way, "I'm fine. It's nothing to be worried about."

"Ah ha!" Beast Boy exclaimed moving to stand on the couch and point at Raven accusingly, "So there is something if you say that it's nothing!"

Raven blinked slowly, taking in his statement.

"You might as well tell us now Raven," Cyborg intoned with a smile, "If you don't Grass-stain will continue to pester you until you do, or send him to an alternate dimension, whichever comes first."

"Please tell us, Raven," Starfire requested her attention now focused solely on the empath. "We cannot help you if you do not share your fears."

With a sigh, Raven allowed her legs to straighten and she landed gracefully on the ground.

"Some things are less depressing when kept to one's self," Raven stated calmly. "If I were to share my thoughts, you will all be bothered by them as well."

"Sometimes being friends means you have to bother one another," Starfire replies before anyone else can open their mouths. "That way you are not bothered alone."

"Star has a point," Cyborg added. "What are friends for if not for bothering? We bother one another all the time. If we worried about not bothering each other all the time we'd never be able to live with each other."

Raven shook her head with a small endearing smile.

She had been caught, no need to remain silent in the face of her family's worry.

Never one to beat around the bush she came out and said what was on her mind.

"I am a traitor."

Immediately, Starfire, Beast Boy, and Cyborg protested.

"No you are not, friend Raven," Starfire exclaimed with conviction. "You have never hurt us, or attacked us, or tried to take over the world. You are the best of friends."

"I'm with Star," Cyborg said looking her in the eye once he had her attention. "There is no way you would turn against us."

"Yeah!" Beast Boy added his voice strong. "No way you would do anything like that."

They all turned to Robin for his input, as he had remained silent thus far.

He was regarding her with a serious expression, ignoring the others' glares when he didn't immediately back them up.

"You've never betrayed us," Robin said carefully, his expression never changing, he looked to her for further explanation.

Raven looked at them all in turn, taking in their fierce expressions of loyalty.

She didn't deserve their trust.

"You are mistaken," Raven said as she ducked her head so her face would not show at all beneath the shadow of her cloak. "I caused you all pain, and caused the apocalypse. I allowed the prophecy to dictate my actions in such a way that I set my father loose on this dimension knowing his intentions. How can you say I did not betray you in doing that?"

"Have I betrayed you?" Robin asked before anyone else could answer.

"No," Raven replied, her tone bespoke her shock at such a question being voiced.

"But I've acted as a thief and fought against all of you when I did," Robin pressed on, his face grave. "I hurt the team when I was apprenticed to Slade, and then afterwards when I obsessed about Slade and believed him alive even after his death. Did I betray you then?"

Raven looked down for a moment, thinking seriously before answering him.

"No," She replied slowly, even as she felt the beginnings of a smirk curl her lips, "No you did not betray me. You've made mistakes, but you never betrayed me."

Beast Boy spoke up before anything else could be said.

"Did I betray the team when I was the Beast?" He asked his tone as serious as the subject. "When I fought against the team in that form I could have killed any of you."

"No," Raven replied as a small frown creased her brow, "You did not betray us. You had no control over what you did in that form. I had control when I became the Gem that allowed my father to come to this dimension."

"You didn't," Beast Boy protested, "You knew that if you didn't give yourself up we all would die, and we would have, trying to keep Slade and the fire-things away from you."

Raven her ghost of a smirk return, but before she could reply, Cyborg cut in.

"I abandoned the team to become the leader of Titan's East," Cyborg said with a self-depreciating smile, "Isn't that betrayal?"

"No," Raven mused even as her smirk became more prominent. "You thought you were bettering yourself in becoming the leader of Titan's East. I would not consider that betrayal."

"But I was "bettering myself" by depriving the team of a member." Cyborg shot back, his human eye twinkling with knowledge of his impending victory. "I was weakening the team. That could be considered a form of betrayal."

Before Raven could respond to that, Starfire broke in to the conversation, her voice strong with conviction.

"I too have abandoned the team, and I have done so twice," She said, her gaze steady when Raven turned to meet it. "The first time I flew galaxies away because I believed that you would shun me for my transformation. The second time I returned to my planet thinking I was to be wed. I knew I would not be able to return to Earth if I was married. Is that not betrayal as Cyborg describes it?"

Raven felt her smirk widen with each word Starfire spoke, but again she was interrupted before she could find the words to give voice to her thoughts.

"You have never betrayed us," Robin repeated, drawing everyone's attention back to their leader, and though his tone was lighter than before it had a ring of finality to it. "Just make sure not to make the same mistakes twice. That's all anyone can ask of you. Including yourself."

She nodded as the others fell back into their normal patterns as if they hadn't just absolved her of her greatest sins by laying bare their own, and she levitated back into her former position.

She found it was much easier to find her center and, after meditation, she found Beast Boy there trying to entice her into playing a video game with him and Starfire trying to get her to try a new Tamaranean dish she had just prepared that she assured her would not cause "a distress to Earth intestines".

She turned down both and walked over to the kitchen to make herself some tea, to find Cyborg already there with a kettle already heated for her use.

She nodded her thanks and prepared her tea before retreating in the direction of her room.

She paused to look back at her friends before the common room's doors closed and allowed herself a smile.

This was family.

This was peace.

* * *

A/N: So…I am not exactly sure how that one turned out. It's a bit angsty for my tastes, but it just wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it. Let me know what you think, and, as always, constructive criticism is always welcome and appreciated! =3 ~Orin


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